Category: Life

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Must Do?

From my perspective in traveling to a new country, I tend to get very overwhelmed because I want to SEE and DO everything…which just isn’t possible in the time I have.

I overcome the overwhelming-ness of it all by just starting a list and putting down every thing that is of interest. Then, I break it down by location and finally, making a time based itinerary. At that point, it’s very easy to see what will work in the time frame allotted and what will not. I don’t just disregard my list after I’ve agonized over what to include and what to exclude – I make a part II visit list.

For Morocco, I really wanted to go to Marrakesh – that was the number 1 place for me. Then, I researched the most authentic ways we could really experience the culture – within the parameters that myself and J had decided were important. Like, we didn’t necessarily want to go camping for this particular adventure and with the unknown of the food and water quality and availability we both wanted actual bathrooms with toilets and showers.

My biggest thing was that I wanted to see the souks that had been there for hundreds of years. Unfortunately, due to the complete chaos from the mopeds, donkeys, children, people, bikes, etc we didn’t actually spend much time perusing the stalls. I’m just not comfortable haggling for pricing and you can’t just leisurely browse – most of the vendors know tourists and are pretty fucking relentless. I get it, that’s how they make money but it was just too much for me on my first visit there.

I was disappointed in myself but it would have been far less enjoyable for me and J if I had just “powered through”. Quite honestly, he was amazing and far more patient than I’ve ever been with myself. Truly the very best person for me – he always knew just by looking at me when it was time to pull over to the side out of the flow of traffic and people and just take a breather. <3

It’s always important to remember what YOUR style of travel is and adjust your “must-do” list with what will truly make you happy but always be willing to adjust as you go along – we ended up doing a hot air balloon at sunrise and THAT was the most epic reason to see and go there for ME.

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No One Photo Can Show Heartbreak

​​I had originally wanted to post one photo – but that’s impossible as the title conveys. Ending a long term friendship – in short, it sucks.

I have a lot of big ass feelings still – because there was no closure really. 7 plus years and it just ended because I wasn’t doing what she wanted. I wrote the below text when I was in a certain frame of mind. It comes and goes. Because today? I’m still pissed that she’s such an unforgiving and controlling bitch. 

It just depends on the day I guess. 

What is the best picture to portray a heartbreak a picture to describe how it feels to lose your very best friend not because that best friend died or anything as large as that but instead over something that could easily have been talked through if both people were actually open to forgiveness.

Unfortunately when one of the people refuses to let go of that hurt no matter how much you apologize or try to make it better it’s never going to be the same and at that point you have to decide whether you just give up trying and just go away or if you try to make another big stand and have a big conversation it never really gets resolved anyways. And you know that because you already tried several times to have that open and honest communication and you were in fact told that she didn’t know whether she’d ever be able to forgive you.

So at that point you can continue to wear sackcloth and ashes or you can just quietly go away.

The crappy part about it is that there’s no closure not really and you’re stupid hopeful heart always wishes that it could’ve been different or they could’ve been better or or something and you don’t talk about it much when you never reference it in public to mutual friends because that would be weird right although honestly those mutual friends picked sides even when they said that they never would do that.

But you feel it you think about it sometimes maybe there’s a memory of stupid Facebook memories pop up and you’re like oh yeah that was something and or you run into her an old acquaintance who knew both of you and I actually don’t know that you’re not speaking anymore they’re always asking hey how are they doing and you say yeah they’re doing pretty good and you just keep going so it comes out when you’re feeling a little blue or it comes out in your stupid dream or wishful dream where things are actually resolved and wake up and they’re not resolved and it’s still the same and it hurts again for a little while until you push it to the back burner and live your daily life.

And then those days just blending together and all of a sudden it’s months later months later and then I guess it’s just a memory Or a lesson either way…

What single photograph can show all of that?